Monday, 4 June 2012

How to neglect your blog.

I have been bad. This cherished blog has lain neglected for now over a month. In fact social media at large has lain neglected for over a month. I dare say, who missed it? But my Big Brother has complained, a lot. Who knows what he has been reading on the bog all this time?!

At first it was very painful, I would start an entry and save for later, I would sneak a look at Twitter whilst cooking dinner or whilst running the bath for the Toddler. A few weeks in and the pain subsided, I stopped pining and got caught up in other things. Apparently I am fickle. Who knew?

I felt it necessary to explain my absence before picking up thread again, thus also hoping to get my blogging mojo back, as it were.

So, a few tips on how to neglect your blog:

1. Have your child turn 3 years old and throw a birthday party, insisting you bake the cake (even though you are no Delia or any other capable baking/cooking type person).

2. Decide to make party favours and decorations yourself. Spend a fortune trying a few ideas, then order everything off a party website anyway.

3. During this time make sure your parents, who live abroad, come and visit you. Make sure your dad has only a week to stay due to work commitments.

4. Send your other half away on a 3-week Motorbike trip in unchartered territory and all support and maintenance done himself.

5. Let your mom stay with you for a month, allow her to do all the cooking, cleaning, childcare duties and watch yourself become lazy and totally incapable.

6. Whilst watching your mom do all the work, start sleeping in later in the mornings and enjoying mid-afternoon naps.

7. Due to your mom doing all the work you re-discover your love of books.

8. Make sure you are a bit obsessive, especially about books, and completely shut out the world whilst you catch up on your reading list.

And lastly, read the "Shades of Grey" trilogy. One after the other. Very sordid, a laughable writing style, but oh so addictive. You will thank me I assure you.